Month: September 2022

Where and how do you find calm when you are feeling stressed, anxious and overwhelm, when you are feeling so stuck and not able to move forward? There are things you can do to feel better – to find calm. When we are feeling like this, we get so stuck in our thoughts, which actually get us more stressed and anxious, that we can’t even see the opportunities that may be presenting themselves to us. When we get that stressed, our whole being gets so tense that we just can’t see any “openness;” everything is dense and negative. When this is the case, how could we see anything positive and light? It’s just not going to happen. This is when we need to “find calm!” However, this is when we just can’t even imaging calm, let alone be open to it.

Okay, then, just how can we “find calm” you ask? I’m going to give you several self-care acts you can do that will allow that stress, anxiety and overwhelm become a little less dense and heavy and allow it to soften and lighten, showing you the light at the end of the tunnel.

1. Breathing exercises. If you follow me, you know breathing exercises are my end-all and be-all choice to calming down and opening up. By just sitting straight in a comfortable chair, straight back, shoulders soft and down, and feet flat on the floor, take 3 slow, deep belly breaths. Then just do a quick body scan starting from the top of your head down to your feet. What is your body telling you? Are you feeling any sensations (tightness, heaviness, pain, discomfort, racing heart…)? Can you attach any emotions to those sensations. Just sit and take deep breaths and exhale with a sigh to allow that energy to start moving. Feel your body relax. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. Your body is telling you something. Listen to it. Do this until you feel ready to get moving. Allow the thoughts to come up. You may even see some inspiration and opportunities.
2. Meditation. The breathing exercises above are a type of meditation. But you can also sit and listen to calm, relaxing meditative music. You can sit and focus on your breathing, or even watch a candle flickering. Try to clear your head. Allow thoughts to come in and acknowledge them, then let them go. Do this until you are feeling calmer.
3. Connect with nature. Go for a walk or run. Maybe do some stretching and exercises. This allows the endorphins (our natural “feel-good” hormones) to release, making us feel better.
4. Give yourself a break. Allow yourself this gift; this self-care act of love to yourself. Maybe take a quick power nap; or a bubble bath with candles lit and soft, relaxing music in the background. Add some essential oils to the mix, or even in the bath (make sure you have ones that you can do that). If you want to break away from reality for a while, take even just 15 minutes to read a good book that can just whisk you away for that time. Or, maybe watch a little comedy on tv to make you laugh. And, you can always call your go-to friend to help you out; you know that friend that just knows what to say and when to say it to make you feel better.
5. Have “tea time.” Chamomile is always a good tea to calm and relax you. Or, any calming tea of your choice.
6. And, last but not least, by all-time go-to…EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique, also called “Tapping.” If you are not familiar with Tapping, it is kind of like acupuncture, but without the needles. You tap on certain meridians while tapping on something that is bothering you, and it calms down your nervous system.  I attached the video I did on tapping for “Finding Calm” below.

There are 6 ways to help you find your calm. By putting your body in a state of calm, you are allowing your body to heal and be healthier. When we are stressed in a state of overwhelm and anxiety, our body tenses and inflammation begins, causing illness. Stop it in its tracks! Break up that stress by doing one of these self-care activities to calm yourself and allow you to find calm.

Go to my website, www.wellfitways.com to find out more about Self-Care for Women 50+.

Make it a Great Day! Remember, you are the creator of your life. Let it be a great one!

 

 

WHO ARE YOU?

Do you know who you are? Really know who you are? I didn’t for many, many years. I started to and then I was diagnosed with breast cancer. That was when I really began to know myself. What a blessing that was. I was given a second chance to find me. To find out who I really was and am. 

Is this something you struggle with? Who am I? What do I like to do? What do I not like to do? What is my life purpose? Do you hold your feelings in during a conflict? Do you say yes to everyone and everything…except to yourself? 

Do you want to get to know yourself? Let’s try something…Introduce yourself to yourself!

Say, “Hi (name)! I would like to introduce you to (name). She is ….. (fill in the blank)”

How did that go? Were you able to fill in the blank? If not, finish reading this blog post and go back to this exercise after doing these exercises several times and see what comes up. Don’t try too hard. Don’t use your head. Instead, use your heart. What is your heart telling you about yourself? Go back to this exercise anytime you want to check on who you are.

Let’s go over 3 easy steps you can take right now to start learning who you are, so you can be true to YOU!

1. Tune in to your feelings, emotions, thoughts, surroundings, life etc. Become self-aware of all these things. What do you feel? What are you thinking? What emotions are inside you? Are you aware of where you are, your surroundings, your heart and soul? 

2. Trust your gut and follow your heart. Think about how you feel inside before you give an answer to someone. What is your gut and your heart telling you to do. The more you sit with these questions, the easier it becomes to be intuitive of your feelings.

3. STOP pleasing others. Please yourself first. This doesn’t make you selfish. It is self-care. If you aren’t happy, how can you make anyone else happy? Have those boundaries and say NO when you feel you want and/or need to. It is difficult to say “No” in the beginning, but it really does get to be easier, makes you feel so much better and, many times is a relief.

There are 3 steps (actually 5), but who’s counting? They sound pretty easy, no? Yes, they do sound easy, maybe not so easy to put into action. It takes a commitment to do this. You have to make the time to do it. But, isn’t it worth it to find you? You only get one chance in life, why not make it the best one ever, doing You, being You? 

Take the time to sit with yourself, starting with just 5 minutes a day for a week. Then add another 5 minutes…keep adding time to just sitting in the quiet and breathing from your heart. Meditation is wonderful. It has taken me years to get to 30 minutes of just sitting and “being,” but I have made such wonderful advances in understanding myself and listening to what my body is telling me. How it feels physically, emotionally, spiritually…. Your’s will too. 

Being true to YOU and finding who you are and what you want in life makes for a happy and healthy life. The more you do things that you love to do the happier and healthier you are going to be. We need to take the time to do these kinds of self-care acts for ourselves. Nobody else can make us happy, but US. This is being true to YOU. 

When you are learning to be true to yourself, you need to get really “REAL” with yourself. Don’t lie to yourself. Don’t use your head to think. Use your heart. It is easy to think something and say, “No, that is how I feel.” But, is it really? I had to sit down and meditate quite a bit the last week because I was going to get an infusion that would help decrease the recurrence of my breast cancer. At first it sounded wonderful. A win-win situation. And, maybe it is for others, but I’m not so sure it is for me. I wasn’t sleeping, I was getting moody and agitated. This is something that I have not been doing since my diagnosis. I have felt wonderful since I found out. I was given a second chance to do things the way I wanted to. Then, I meditated and all this heaviness came up about the infusion. I cancelled my appointment. It wasn’t something I needed to do. It was something that I could do if I wanted. I still may at a later date, if it comes up feeling light for me. But just not right now. Maybe now is not the time for me. I can still get it at a later date. As soon as I cancelled the appointment, the heaviness lifted. 

Now, don’t go cancelling appointments that you need. I am NOT saying that. It is a wonderful thing. It just isn’t for me in this moment. And, it was not something I needed to do. If it was, I would have spent much more time meditating on it and talking with doctors about it. So, please keep what appointments you need to!

I’m just using this as an example. I was true to myself by not doing it. I listened to my body, to myself and stayed true to me. I became aware of the feelings my body was giving me, that heaviness, not sleeping, moodiness and agitation. So, I said NO. I did it to please myself and nobody else. I know it was best for me (not anybody else), and trusted my intuition. That is something I could not and would not have done several or even a couple years ago. It has taken a lot of sitting with myself (and the cancer) and meditating. Doing deep breathing and learning to breathe from my heart. 

So, it may sound easy and it may sound difficult. It is what you make it. At times, it can be difficult to do take these actions, but think of the outcome. It is wonderful. You can introduce yourself to YOU and know who you are! It is a wonderful feeling. 

Go out there and find yourself. Be True To YOU!