Month: October 2022

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COPE WITH YOUR STRESS USING THESE 3 STRESS MANAGEMENT TIPS

Who isn’t stressed? At least a little? Everyone gets stressed, however, it is how you deal with stress that is the key.  We all have stress, but some stress is bad and just hangs on inside our minds and bodies in a negative way, and some stress is good, happy stress, which also can hang on in our body, but is not necessarily damaging stress.

In today’s life, we have so much more stress, negative stress. It’s how we look at it and try to make something positive out of it. It can be done. According to Ouraring.com, “The reality is that stress materializes as both emotional and physiological symptoms – your brain and body are inseparable.” When you are stressed, your body is in fight-or-flight mode and keeps running away from the lion, which causes increased heart and respiratory rate, and your stress hormones start working overtime. This is what causes illness, holding onto that fight-or-flight response and not calming it down. Ouraring.com also states you don’t want your flight-or-flight response on all the time, but you also don’t want it inactive.

3  Tips to Manage Stress:

  1. Become more self-aware. I go over this a lot in my online program, “Self-Care for Women 50+” and have an audio, “A Self-Awareness” exercise, by Dr. Frank Kinslow. It is wonderful. It teaches you how to just sit and become aware of awareness; self-awareness. Very relaxing and the more you do it, the more aware you are of being aware; being mindful of yourself and your surroundings.  Becoming self-aware helps to “reset imbalances when you sense them and may even improve your sleep.”

2. Exercise and nutrition: I’m putting these two together, because to me, they just go hand-in-hand. So, exercise, even if it’s a 10-15 minute walk once or twice a day, doing stretches once or twice daily, even 20 sit-to-stands, where you just keep sitting and standing, barely hitting your bottom on the chair, hands either crossed over your chest or out in front of you (if you have a difficult time doing this one, push up from the chair, giving you some support). As always, get your doctor’s approval before starting any exercise program. Start small and go bigger as you feel stronger. Push a little every day and you will reap it’s rewards. And, as I said, nutrition goes hand-in-hand with exercise. Eat healthy and learn. And, drink plenty of water.

3. Meditation. you can become more aware by just sitting in quiet, taking a deep belly breath in and focus on your heart. Breathe in and out from your heart, and be still. You may even get to the core of your stressors and why you react the way you do with certain ones. There are many different ways to meditate (also gone over in my Self-Care program). It’s finding which resonates with you. I love breathing from my heart. It allows me to focus on my breathing, allowing thoughts to come and go swiftly and to really feel and become aware of “me.” Then, I end up really feeling what I am feeling, allowing it, loving myself. Then, I can ask God/Universe/whatever or whoever your higher-being is, questions I want answers to. Sitting quietly, breathing slowly and focusing on breathing from my heart allows me to just release all stress and just kind of recalibrate my system, allowing you to rebalance.

So there you go. My 3 favorite tips to cope with stress. There are many ways, including participating in an activity that allows you to relax. For example, I crochet. It instantly calms me, allowing me to be creative and just focus on the present…what I am creating. Just like what I do when I meditate…clearing my mind to be able to co-create my life in a meaningful way to me.

I hope this resonates with you. Let us know.

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Breast Cancer Awareness Month – Tapping

In honor of October being Breast Cancer Awareness month,  and my receiving a clean bill of health, I wanted to talk about calming and relaxing your nervous system to help your body decrease inflammation, which causes illness.  It not only calms you physically, but mentally, as well as allowing you to be in a higher mental state and  a higher energy state to allow blocks to release. I used tapping from the time I found my lump (which wasn’t the cancerous lump) to the present…every day. I use it for gratitude, healing, finding calm, allowing myself to feel what I am feeling, for joy,  forgiveness, basically for everything. It just makes me feel amazing. Tapping can be used anywhere and at any time. We all know that when you have breast cancer (any cancer), you have ups and downs. You have your good days or even great days, and you have your bad days or horrendous days. It happens to us all. But, we can have a say in how we are going to react to what is going on in our body and our mind. We can go into victim mode, which, in many cases is very easy to do; or, we can go into a calm, “I’ve got this” mode, or “I’m not giving up on this” mode, and ACT instead of RE-ACT. Whatever the thoughts are, we do have a say in that. So, for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I wanted to share my tapping video I made that helped me.  You can add or change any words to make it more suited to your situation.  This is for you. Make it and change it for you. Whatever feels good to you or whatever just comes to mind. Something else I do a lot for myself is exercise. In fact, I just finished a quick walk a little while ago, which is what prompted this post. Exercise releases endorphins, our natural “happy hormone” and allows us to be open to more positivity in our thoughts. It improves our overall well-being and just makes us feel good, and gives us more energy. It not only helps you physically, but mentally, also. However, do check with your doctors before starting any new exercise program. There may be some limitations or contraindications depending on your type of cancer, and what meds, treatments you are getting, so ALWAYS, ALWAYS check with your docs!! So, I am leaving you with just that much, but have included the video, as stated. I hope you enjoy it and let me know how it helps. Pamper yourself…YOU DESERVE IT!  
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Self-Care 101: It’s Time to Relax When You Don’t Have The Time For It

Are you feeling stressed? What a silly question, yet we hear it often.  Are you ever NOT stressed is probably the better question. Life today seems to be constantly filled with stress. Now, we all know there is good stress and bad stress, but it seems like we have to dig a little to find the good stress. Self-Care 101…When you are feeling overwhelmed and feel like you don’t have time to relax, is exactly the time you need to relax and totally DE-STRESS.  Between Covid, war, hurricanes, global warming, the world is definitely more stressed.

Not that that is okay, because it is definitely not, but because of increased stress we need to pay closer attention to HOW we are acting and/or reacting to it. If we are reacting to the stress that is all around us, including our daily life stressors with family, kids/grandkids, jobs, retirement, financial stressors, it can get pretty scary. Every which way we turn, there is stress.

The world isn’t changing, so we need to. We need to look deep into ourselves and see how we react to this stress. Are we holding it inside, thinking about it constantly, or are we taking it in and maybe making some life changes to ourselves and the situations that we can make changes to.

According to a poll taken by The American Institute of Stress, “The stress and mental health statistics of US are worsening, mostly due to a bundle  reasons of COVID-19 pandemic, rising inflation, and the Russia-Ukraine crisis.”  Just a few statistics here, “81% of Americans who participated in the poll were stressed out due to Supply Chain issues, 87% Americans are stressed due to rising inflation in the country, up from59% in August 2021 and 58% in June 2021, and 65% of Americans responded that they were stressed about money and the economy.”

People are going to alcohol and food to calm their stress. There are so many extra stressors these days. Some people feel we are doomed, that this is our life now…STRESS! Yes, we do have more stress, but why is it so important to learn to manage stress?

When we are stressed, our body goes into the “fight-or-flight” or stress response. When you are stressed, your body releases cortisol and adrenaline, amongst other hormones, which get your body ready to handle whatever danger is coming at you. Your heart starts pounding faster, your blood pressure raises, you tighten your muscles and quicken your breath, and then your senses become more intense, sharper. When you are constantly stressed, your body is also constantly in the fight-or-flight response. Being in this state for periods of time causes inflammation in your body, which causes illness. This is one very important reason to start managing your stress.

Next, comes, “I don’t have time to add something to my day!” I know. I definitely get it. However, when you start feeling like you don’t have any time to relax, that is THE time to start managing your stress  and to take time out to RELAX! Feeling overwhelmed with everything you need to do is your body telling you it is time to take a break, a much-needed one for your health and well-being. Listen to your body. Just stop for 5 minutes and take 3-5 deep belly breaths, from your pelvis and exhale with a sigh, or even a scream to let out all that stressful energy. Just even doing that will make you feel a little better. It may take some of the heaviness out of your chest.

Try some of these steps to start managing your stress before it manages you!

  1. The first thing I like to do is to write down everything that comes to mind that is stressing me. Things will come up, probably more than you even realized. Look at this list. Right off, is there anything that can be deleted off the list that you don’t even need to do? Then, prioritize everything. What needs to be done first or most, down to what can be either delegated to someone else or can be checked on maybe once or twice a week, and forget about it?
  2. Get at least 7-8 hours of sleep. When we are sleeping our body (and mind) is repairing itself and healing.
  3. Eat healthier. Are your drinking 8 glasses of water per day? Is it healthy, filtered water? Are your eating your veggies, fruits and grains as much as you should be?
  4. Exercise. Take at least 15-30 minutes to take a brisk walk. It is amazing how that can make you feel so much better and it also can help with opening you up to creativity. Or, do at least 15-20 sit-to-stand exercises. To do these, stand about a foots-length away from a chair, cross your hands over your chest (you can even hold a weight if you want), and  basically do a squat, just barely hitting your bottom on the chair and stand up. Do this and it can de-stress you.
  5. Breathe. Breathing exercises can instantly help relax you and allow you to see things in a more positive light, allowing ease in making better decisions/choices. To do this, sit in a comfortable position with both feet flat on the floor, back straight and shoulders relaxed and down. Close your eyes and you can place both hands over your heart and take 3-5 deep belly breaths all the way from your pelvis. To do this, imagine a balloon in your pelvis and when you inhale, the balloon inflates and when you exhale the balloon deflates. You can do this for as long as it takes for you to relax. Try to calm your mind while doing this.
  6. Prioritize the things that are stressing you. What can you take care of easily and what can you just forget about or delegate to someone to take care of, and learn how to say “NO.”
  7. Don’t sweat the small stuff. When we get in stress mode, it is all we think about, which then makes the stress even worse. What you resist, persists. Learn what things you need to just let go of, those small, annoying little stressors that just bug the crap out of you…let them go.
  8. Do something you really enjoy like hanging out with the family and do game night or hang out with friends and have a girls night out, maybe. Or, pick up a great book that allows your mind to go where you are reading. Or, do something else that relaxes you, like crochet, gardening, boxing, or scream into a pillow. That can be very fun!

Try these 8 ways to start managing stress. Just try one at a time. If it doesn’t work for you go on to the next. Whatever you do, don’t just keep focusing on the stress and not do anything about it. It is not good for you mentally or physically. You got this…one little step at a time.

 

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The Benefits of Setting up Boundaries

Boundaries?? You say….Some of us have them and make great use of them and others, well, we say…”What are boundaries???”

According to Berkeley Well-Being Institute, “Psychological boundaries – or the standard by which we want people to treat us – are harder to identify,” compared to a “fence (that) might be used to keep 2 things separate from each other or to provide protection from another entity.”

How we “allow” others to treat us and how far we are willing to let them push our buttons or tell us what to do, how to do it, etc. is a reason we need to set up boundaries.  Many boundaries are “situation-specific,” meaning they may change somewhat according to the particular situation. Say you don’t answer calls from a specific person after a certain time because they always seem to need your help or your ear to listen to their complaints, etc. However, if an emergency situation comes up, you do drop those boundaries (or some) to assist in the emergency situation only.

Boundaries are required from things such as how close you allow a person to get up into “your space,” to what time to turn off your phone, what topics you are willing to discuss (the old saying about don’t discuss, finances, religion or politics was made for a reason and still holds true!), what types of language you will accept (e.g., certain swear words or inappropriate comments), to certain topics that trigger you and manipulation, to name a few.

It is more difficult to set boundaries with some people. You know who those are in your life. But, it is so important to set them up and keep them as much as you can. When you stick with your boundaries you will decrease your stress level immensely. You are being true to your needs and beliefs, which decreases stress. When you stick with those boundaries, you are not letting people walk all over you, take advantage of you or manipulate you. You are not allowing them to zap all the energy out of you. You are not letting them guilt you into anything,

When you have a strong awareness into your wants and needs, it makes it easier to keep boundaries. When we know ourselves and are aware of our beliefs,  it allows us to really understand who we are and what we are about, which then allows us to relay this information to our family, friends, and others. This allows us to understand what boundaries we need to make.

When we are flexible with our emotions, we can “Accept the reality of the situation accept our own thoughts, feelings, emotions, and consider our values – all of which informs our behavior for that given moment. (Cherry et al, 2021, Ciarrochi,, Bilich, & Godsell, 2010) “We use psychological flexibility to create and communicate boundaries for each situation rather than imposing a one size fits all approach.” (Berkeley Well-Being Institute)

On the other hand, “When we are rigid in our emotions, behaviors and thoughts we experience psychological inflexibility. Psychological inflexibility is a risk factor for experiencing mental health challenges such as anxiety and depression. (Cherry et al, 2021, Ciarrochi, Bilich, & Godsell, 2010) “Moreover it can prevent us from living in a way that is intentionally aligned with our own goals.” (Ciarrochi, Bilich, & Godsell, 2010).

So, you see, there are reasons why boundaries are important. Besides what I stated above, they allow us to protect ourselves from people and situations that may be dangerous or just not beneficial to us.

Boundaries can help us connect deeper with ourselves to better know and understand ourselves, our wants and needs.

By gaining better self-awareness and insight, “we can get to know ourselves in a deeper way and share that with our partners, family and friends. Boundaries can be a way of demonstrating compassion towards yourself and compassion towards others.” (Berkeley Well-Being Institute)

Has this convinced you of setting up some boundaries? I hope so. Sure, it isn’t always (or often) easy to set up and keep boundaries, but once you start, it does get easier and, is such a wonderful gift you can give to yourself.