Category: Dementia

Are you a caregiver? Are you taking care of a family member, loved one or friend, or getting paid to take care of someone who requires assistance in self-care, social or other physical support? If you are, then you understand how difficult it is, especially when others do not realize how much it takes…of your time, your life, your health, and your spirit.

I’ve worked in the healthcare field for many, many years caring for seniors, educating family members and others on dementia care, and was a caregiver for my mom, who had dementia for over 10 years. It’s a difficult job physically, emotionally, spiritually, and even financially, but also one that gives back so much. It meant so much for me to care for my mom. It wasn’t easy, as my dad had just unexpectedly passed away and my sisters and I became full-time caregivers, besides me working full-time and 2 prn jobs, and being a single parent with 2 girls. But, it was a time I could give back to my mom and spend precious time with her.

One of the problems with being a caregiver is we are so busy taking care of our loved one (or client), that we don’t take care of ourselves. Other family members may not realize how much work, how difficult it is on you emotionally and physically, and again, even financially. It can also be detrimental to your spouse/partner, kids, etc. You have got to take care of yourself, otherwise, you will be of no service to your loved one. Many people say I have nobody else to watch my parent, what am I to do? Be creative. I have had clients ask a neighbor, check at churches, check their local human services department. People want to help, you just have to ask. Get Respite care for a couple days, week or two.

Self-care is so huge when you are a caregiver. Taking 5 minutes out of your morning to just sit in quiet and BE. Ask someone to stay with your loved one and go out for a walk, to the gym, meet a friend for coffee and/or lunch, get your hair done or a facial, watch a funny movie, or how about just sit and take deep belly breaths all the way down to your pelvis? Or try EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)/Tapping to calm your nervous system? These are just a few ways to just take a breather. You can do breathing exercises or tap with your loved one/cllient, or tap for them if they give you permission.

What about doing some self-care, but add your loved one in? Say it’s a nice day and you are dying to go for a walk. If your loved one has a wheelchair, take them with you. Sit outside with them and have lunch, breathe in the air. Take off your shoes and feel the grass/the ground beneath your feet to help you get grounded. What about doing some simple chair exercises, which, by the way my clients say are not that easy! You can make them as easy or as difficult as you would like. However, this time, add your loved one, even if they are just lifting even one hand up to their chin and down, or squeezing a ball. Throw a ball back and forth or tap a balloon. Get some rings and use a cane to toss the rings onto the cane. Hold the cane with both hands and lift it up and down as far as you both can get it. March your feet. Do leg kicks. There is so much you can do to make both of you feel better.

A fun thing I liked to do was get balloons, flour, sand or cornstarch, and fill a smaller balloon up with it, add a drop or two of an energizing essential oil like peppermint, lemon or orange to it, tie a knot and squeeze the balloon for stress reduction and also, strengthening. Use a water bottle as a weight for exercise. There is so much you can do. Make healthy (or unhealthy) cookies and let them help you. Let them mix the cookies or measure, anything they can do, no matter how big or small. Have them help you make a memory book/photo album and tell you about the picture. You can write it down and make a little book.  Read it to them.

Talk with the one you are caring for, asking everything you ever wanted to know about them, what they did, get to really know them. Then, use that to do something fun, maybe a craft/hobby. The sky is the limit.  These are all great self-care ideas that will not only make your feel better, but your loved one, dementia or not.

By performing self-care by yourself and with the one you are caring for, it giving you and them such a gift. It’s making them feel like they still matter, you are giving them a quality of life. Watch both of you start feeling better.  But also, the importance is you need to take care of yourself so you can be there for them. That also means, besides the fun stuff above, the importance of getting adequate rest, 7-8 hours a night, eating healthy (a great thing to do with them, also), drinking enough water. Water is so important. Keeping up with not only their health visits, but yours, as well. You having a quality of life is important, also. Don’t forget that.

In closing, caregiving is one of the hardest jobs to do. However, you can conquer the difficult parts by taking care of yourself. By performing self-care activities, you are giving them your best you, and you are feeling stronger, healthier, happier doing it. They will see this and feed off of you. By adding them into some of your self-care, you are giving them a chance to feel better and better able to appreciate you. It’s a WIN-WIN! You CAN conquer caregiving and enjoy doing it.

For more tips on caregiving (caregiving someone with dementia included), check out our “Products” Page and get my e-book, “My Mind is No Longer My Own: A Caregiver’s Guide to Coping with Dementia.” This is a wonderful toolbox of helpful hints for individuals with dementia, as well as without. The final chapter was added in this 2nd Edition and it is Self-Care for the Caregiver. Check it out and add your own notes to it.

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Do you have any of those people that have everything and you don’t know what to get them for the Holidays? Or, anyone who always takes back your gift because they “Just don’t like it?” Also, those that you may not know well, like a caregiver, who you want to get something for, but you aren’t sure what they like.

Your problems are solved. Give the gift of self-care. If they are an active person, get them something for their workouts. Either a new piece of equipment or weight, gym clothes, tennis shoes/running shoes, hiking, etc., new golf club, a bike or a kayak…something sporty.  I bet they will not take any of that back to the store!

What about someone who loves makeup and looking good? I’ve got you covered on that one, too. What about organic skin products? There are so many on the market, get them something from a couple different “clean” lines, and they will love it.

What about someone who loves food? Okay, what about a gift certificate for a couple free meals from a “clean/organic” food service? They can even pick out what meals they want to get. Such a great gift, especially if they work late and making dinners is difficult.

Someone who loves scents? I’ve got you covered on that one, also. There are so many aromatherapy lines out there, it’s not funny, BUT, it is wonderful. You can get scented candles that are healthy because they use essential oils, or you can get beeswax or soy candles with essential oils.

Still think you don’t have enough ideas? Well, there are courses for people on any topic imaginable for self-care. Take 50+ WellFit, for example! (HaHa…that’s me!!) I have programs for someone who maybe hasn’t been feeling like they are where they want to be…I have a course on “I Am Enough,” and Self-Care for Women 50+. I also now have EFT/Tapping coaching, working 1:1 with women 50+ and focusing on Emotional Freedom Technique/Tapping to release old beliefs/blocks to move forward in their life. Maybe they have been depressed, anxious, wanting to lose weight, money blocks, relationship issues, etc. Tapping will calm down the nervous system so you can get past the old beliefs and feelings and make better decisions and move forward in life.

What about someone who loves plants? Got ya there, too! Do you know that there are healing plants that are wonderful to surround yourself with? Well, there are! Plants can be healing, like an aloe plant; healthy CO2 balanced air, energy and positivity. Let me give you some of the plants that would be a nice gift, especially as a hostess gift…. ALOE VERA, as I already stated. It can be used for burns, skin irritation, infections, and internally for helping with digestion. ENGLISH MARIGOLD, can help with body pain if applied topically, plus it’s a beautiful, bright orange color that is pleasing to the eye. Dried, it can help decrease pain and swelling of insect bites. SPIDER PLANT, SNAKE PLANT, FIDDLE LEAF FIG, PONYTAIL PALM AND BOSTON FERN, are great air-purifying house plants. Plus, placed on your desk and around your home office offers an improved emotional state, calming a negative mood, increases focus and creativity. KAVA, also helps to purify the air in your home, plus the relaxing kava plant, is noted for its anti-anxiety effects. These ideas are great for even elderly loved ones. Everyone loves plants, and they make people feel better; even those loved ones with dementia.

So, now you can finish up your Holiday shopping for everyone, even those that seem to have everything and those that are never happy with what you got them! Try these Self-Care ideas for this Holiday Season.

It sounds cliche and everyone is talking about it, however, how many people are doing it? Let me ask it this way, “How many people are doing it the best way to actually benefit from it?”

First of all, let me say, “Happy Holidays” to everyone, everywhere, whatever holiday you may celebrate. Holidays can be very difficult, and they can also be enjoyable and gratifying. Everyone has someone they wish could be with them during the holidays, which makes it more difficult, but, we always manage to get through it. Then, there are others who have someone that they may honestly wish was not there spending time with them. Let’s be honest, here.

The main thing we always hear, though, is to be grateful. I think that is what most of us think about during the Holidays, right? I hope so, anyway. Even in the bleakest of times, I was always able to find something to be grateful for.

That is why I am here today, writing this blog post, to remind you of all you have to be grateful and thankful for. There are so many sad and scary, horrible things going on in this world, we just need to look around and be thankful for what and who we have in our lives, even if they are a little rough and tough right now. All we hear about are the bad things going on in the world, but what about all the wonderful things going on? There are so many natural catastrophe’s lately, and that is horrible; however, look at how people are coming together to help out. People, overall are good! But, everyone always focuses on the bad, which brings more bad into the world. I always ask, “Why can’t everyone just be nice???” And, just be grateful for what and who we have…

So, how can we practice gratitude but really benefit from it? You’ve heard about writing down 3-10 things you are grateful for every day in your Gratitude Journal. I’ve done that and it is very nice; however, it didn’t do much for me, other than for a brief moment or two, right?

I’ve done a lot of research and listen to a lot of people who discuss the best ways to practice gratitude. One, my cousin sent to me that I absolutely love. It is a podcast by The Huberman Lab. They talk about the practice of gratitude and how to really do it to receive health benefits from it. Also, Dr. Kim D’Eramo (an ER trauma physician who is the founder of the American Institute of MindBody Medicine), who now practices and teaches MindBody techniques. The idea is to think of something that makes you grateful, it may even be some video that you saw that just made you feel really good, happy and grateful. You want to get that good feeling of gratefulness and hang on to it for over a period of time, say a minute to 3 minutes. Really feel that gratitude. Or, think of a time when you just felt so very grateful. Picture that image and think about it, really feel it. Hold on to that feeling and feel that gratitude that you felt at the original moment. This actually changes old beliefs in your brain. It is so beneficial. Try it and do it daily. You can still keep a Gratitude Journal. It’s not going to hurt, it can only help and bring those things your grateful for to the forefront of your thoughts.

The more you practice gratitude, the more you appreciate things. You are calmer, more appreciative and more mindful. So, if you haven’t practiced Gratitude, start this Holiday Season with an Attitude of Gratitude to make your Holidays much brighter.

I am so grateful for all of you, and wishing you and your family’s a Happy Holiday Season.