Are you just having one of those days…or weeks…or months…?

Have you recently had one of those days (that probably is more like weeks or months…) that you just feel crappy? Like everything is coming down on you and you’re just trying to stay afloat and keep everyone happy, except what you are really doing is making yourself miserable and stressed?

We have all been there and, we all know that it is not fun by any means. It actually, is hell! Why do we, as woman, always feel like everything is up to us to make everything right, even at our expense? Well ladies, I’m here to tell you that this needs to stop! It is not good for our mind, body, or spirit. It brings on stress, which causes illness.

I’m here to tell you that we can change our ways. We just really, really, really have to want to, because, let me tell you, it sounds really easy, but it isn’t always easy to get there. Are you wondering, “what in the hell is this girl talking about?” HaHa! I’ve been there, as well.

It is about knowing what we really want and living it before we even have it. It’s about believing in ourselves and our wants and staying focused on those wants. Keeping our thoughts clean and positive, and not turning negative as soon as someone tells us something we don’t want to do or hear. Yes….it isn’t easy. However, if you want it bad enough, you CAN do it. You can stay focused on your wants and  then start to see things happening in positive ways that lead you to those things you want. To the life you want.

This life that you want is your birthright. We all deserve to be happy, healthy and prosperous. It’s our past beliefs and programs that have hindered us from receiving what it is that we really want. We sabotage ourselves from achieving the our goals and desires. We need to stop and start living the feelings that will help us receive instead of resist.

I have a little exercise for you to do:

1. Write down what it is that you really want in life. For example, a specific lake house that you want. Now, is it the lake house you really want or is it the feelings that this lake house will give you that you are looking for? Hmmmm….take a guess.

It is the feelings that his house will give you that you really want.

2. So, the next step is to sit quietly and close your eyes. Take a couple deep breaths and think about how that house is really going to make you feel. Is it going to make you feel happy, joyous, free, grateful, peaceful, courageous, secure…? Those are just some feelings. What feelings would what you wrote down give you? Write down all those that come to you.

3. Okay. Do you have those 2 steps done? I’ll wait… Now, the homework comes in. Start really feeling those emotions that you wrote down. Think of other things that would help you feel like that, also. Live each day really feeling that joy, gratitude and freedom and think about that thing you wrote down.

4. Start living your life as if you already have it. If you can, take a picture with it or by it. Meditate on this and picture yourself already having what it is you want; be very clear and specific. What are you wearing? Who are you with? How is the weather? Is it bright or dark? What is going on? Just be very specific and see as much as you can.

5. When you find yourself down about something, stop yourself and take a deep breath and get back into those emotions that what you want brings you.

As I said, it’s not that easy, BUT DON’T RUN AWAY…COME BACK! You CAN DO THIS! When somebody says or does something or you have a bad day at work and you just want to be negative and tell them what you really think, or maybe even agree with what they may be saying negatively to you or about you, PLEASE, just stop. In this practice, you must be in control of your thoughts and moods. As Tony Robbins says, “Energy flows where attention goes.” You need to have clarity about what it is you really want. Only then can you start focusing your energy on that and become “obsessive” about it. Then, watch amazing things begin to happen.

All you have to do is be clear on what it is that you want. Write it down. You can even put it on your refrigerator, on your computer, in your car, on your bathroom mirror. Write down what positive emotions having this would make you feel. Go ahead, write down all the emotions.

For more information on my programs, go to www.wellfitways.com.

If you need help with this, join my 1:1 program for a tailored program to fit your needs.

 

EXPECT MIRACLES!

Breast Cancer and Fitness…

Breast cancer does not have to be the end of living..it may be the beginning!  I have Estrogen-positive breast cancer, that was stage I, grade 3. If I had not gone to get it checked because I felt a huge, finger-like lump in my right breast (that was nothing), I would not have found that I really did have a mass, but not the one I thought was a problem. Life has a way of showing you the way! That day was a blessing and I’m very grateful for it.

The day after I had my first surgery, I was exercising my arm. I had 1-2 lymph nodes removed (one was a lymph node, the other turned out to be fatty tissue). Having worked in the Occupational Therapy field for over 30 years, I knew what I needed to do. Range my arm in every plane so that I wouldn’t get lymphedema and stiffness. Ask your doctor a lot of questions.  Ask when you can start exercising and how much; what, if any contraindications you may have. When you get that information, do what you are told. Don’t go crazy exercising. You don’t want to hurt yourself, you just want to get back into moving your arm and feeling better, following what they are telling you, specifically.

I knew what to do, and I knew the importance of getting back into exercise, also being a Certified Personal Trainer, working with women over 50. There are people who feel they shouldn’t or can’t exercise. Again, check with your doctor, but exercise is so important after breast cancer surgery to get the fluid moving to prevent lymphedema, to keep your range of motion, to feel better, to feel Alive! If you have never been an exerciser and just don’t like it, try Yoga, Tai Chi, anything. It is wonderful for not only your body, but your mind and spirit.

Usually you can start the day after surgery, but again, check with your doctor. If you are not new to fitness, you will probably feel better physically and mentally, and usually will be more motivated to get back into it. Do not do any exercises if you have drains and stitches. Talk with your doctor to get the okay after those are out.

My fitness is mostly intended for women who have had a lumpectomy/partial mastectomy. This is what I had and feel more comfortable talking about. I know what I did and what helped me, personally. Still, get the ok to start. If you ever feel worse, feel pain, or off balance/dizzy, stop immediately. Keep hydrated and start with a chair or counter in front of you. You can even start in a seated position. I will be doing a video on chair exercise to get you started. I did this just to be on the safe side, working my way up as I felt I could.

Range of motion exercises on the surgical side arm will help make dressing, combing your hair and moving around as usual much easier. You will notice a tightness in your arm on the surgical side. You also will feel a numbness, tingling, weird feeling from any lymph node removal. I still have some of the strange feelings you get from the lymph removal, not as bad as I did, but a year-plus out, I still get occasional strange sensations under my arm. If you get nervous about something you feel or are doing, call your doctor or nurse. They will help you and will know your personal situation and give you the best answers.

Let me give you some good, quick exercises you can do to start with. First, check with your doctor!

Deep breathing. Imagine having a balloon in your abdomen. Inhale through your nose and picture that balloon filling up with air. You can keep one hand on your abdomen to make sure your hand is going in and out. When you inhale, you are expanding your abdomen and your hand will move out. Now exhale and picture the balloon contracting and your hand moving back in towards your spine.  If this is difficult for you, lay on your back and bend your knees with your feet flat on the bed or floor. When you lay like this, you automatically start to breathe from your abdomen. It will give you a feel of it.

Do this deep breathing while expanding your chest and abdomen until you can’t inhale any more. Then, relax and breathe out, with your tummy going in towards your spine. Do this about 5 times every day. You will feel great after this. It helps to clear your mind, as well. You can even make a deep sigh sound when you exhale to release any stress.

Another breathing exercise is to follow the instructions above, but when you are inhaling and expanding your abdomen, picture a calming, white light coming in through your whole body, then exhale and picture black toxins and stress leaving your body.

For your upper extremities, if you are having a difficult time lifting the surgical arm, fold your hands together, as in praying. Use the non-surgical arm strength to help life the surgical arm. Lifting both arms up over your head. Stop if it hurts. Go slow and take your time. Make sure you are breathing in through your nose when your arm is going up, then exhale through pursed lips bringing your arm down. I started with about 10 repetitions. Again, follow your doctor’s orders. They usually give you a handout on exercises to do and how many reps. Follow this handout.

So, the first exercise is raising your arms up over your head and down, again, only going as high as you can, and increasing as you can. The second is to bring your hands to your chest and then straight out. You can do this with your hands folded together or not. Do not use weights until allowed. Do this exercise about 10 times.

Then, with hands folded, straight out and chest height, slowly bring both arms to the right side, then to the left. Again, about 10 reps.

Then, bend your elbow, bringing your hand/s to your chin, then straight down towards your lap, doing about 10 reps.

You can also hold onto the back of a sturdy chair and do 10 squats, kick one leg out to the side at a time, then out towards the back. Slowly doing these exercises. If you feel dizzy, stop and sit down. Drink some water, as well. You always want to have water with you when exercising, Stay hydrated.

The last exercise I will give you today is to walk. If you are unable to get outside and take a walk in nice weather, take a couple laps around your kitchen or house. Obviously, outside would be nicer, but do what you can. If you are a little weak, make sure you have someone with you. Don’t take any undo risks. You have been through enough.

You have been blessed, for your body is telling you something. What is that something? Maybe it is to slow down, maybe start taking care of yourself, maybe to let go of past anger, hurt, resentment. The list goes on, however, there is a lesson. Meditate on it, ask questions. This is your blessing…to learn what it is you need to let go of. I’m not saying it is easy. Ohhhh, it isn’t. Parts are, but not all, but it is still a blessing, nonetheless. Learn what your blessing is and go with it. Live your life!

If you are interested in more like this, please check out my Trainerize Fitness Program, at www.trainerize.me/profile/50wellfit/Roberta.StackKalinsky/

EXPECT MIRACLES!!

Conquering Self-Care for Caregivers

Are you a caregiver? Are you taking care of a family member, loved one or friend, or getting paid to take care of someone who requires assistance in self-care, social or other physical support? If you are, then you understand how difficult it is, especially when others do not realize how much it takes…of your time, your life, your health, and your spirit.

I’ve worked in the healthcare field for many, many years caring for seniors, educating family members and others on dementia care, and was a caregiver for my mom, who had dementia for over 10 years. It’s a difficult job physically, emotionally, spiritually, and even financially, but also one that gives back so much. It meant so much for me to care for my mom. It wasn’t easy, as my dad had just unexpectedly passed away and my sisters and I became full-time caregivers, besides me working full-time and 2 prn jobs, and being a single parent with 2 girls. But, it was a time I could give back to my mom and spend precious time with her.

One of the problems with being a caregiver is we are so busy taking care of our loved one (or client), that we don’t take care of ourselves. Other family members may not realize how much work, how difficult it is on you emotionally and physically, and again, even financially. It can also be detrimental to your spouse/partner, kids, etc. You have got to take care of yourself, otherwise, you will be of no service to your loved one. Many people say I have nobody else to watch my parent, what am I to do? Be creative. I have had clients ask a neighbor, check at churches, check their local human services department. People want to help, you just have to ask. Get Respite care for a couple days, week or two.

Self-care is so huge when you are a caregiver. Taking 5 minutes out of your morning to just sit in quiet and BE. Ask someone to stay with your loved one and go out for a walk, to the gym, meet a friend for coffee and/or lunch, get your hair done or a facial, watch a funny movie, or how about just sit and take deep belly breaths all the way down to your pelvis? Or try EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)/Tapping to calm your nervous system? These are just a few ways to just take a breather. You can do breathing exercises or tap with your loved one/cllient, or tap for them if they give you permission.

What about doing some self-care, but add your loved one in? Say it’s a nice day and you are dying to go for a walk. If your loved one has a wheelchair, take them with you. Sit outside with them and have lunch, breathe in the air. Take off your shoes and feel the grass/the ground beneath your feet to help you get grounded. What about doing some simple chair exercises, which, by the way my clients say are not that easy! You can make them as easy or as difficult as you would like. However, this time, add your loved one, even if they are just lifting even one hand up to their chin and down, or squeezing a ball. Throw a ball back and forth or tap a balloon. Get some rings and use a cane to toss the rings onto the cane. Hold the cane with both hands and lift it up and down as far as you both can get it. March your feet. Do leg kicks. There is so much you can do to make both of you feel better.

A fun thing I liked to do was get balloons, flour, sand or cornstarch, and fill a smaller balloon up with it, add a drop or two of an energizing essential oil like peppermint, lemon or orange to it, tie a knot and squeeze the balloon for stress reduction and also, strengthening. Use a water bottle as a weight for exercise. There is so much you can do. Make healthy (or unhealthy) cookies and let them help you. Let them mix the cookies or measure, anything they can do, no matter how big or small. Have them help you make a memory book/photo album and tell you about the picture. You can write it down and make a little book.  Read it to them.

Talk with the one you are caring for, asking everything you ever wanted to know about them, what they did, get to really know them. Then, use that to do something fun, maybe a craft/hobby. The sky is the limit.  These are all great self-care ideas that will not only make your feel better, but your loved one, dementia or not.

By performing self-care by yourself and with the one you are caring for, it giving you and them such a gift. It’s making them feel like they still matter, you are giving them a quality of life. Watch both of you start feeling better.  But also, the importance is you need to take care of yourself so you can be there for them. That also means, besides the fun stuff above, the importance of getting adequate rest, 7-8 hours a night, eating healthy (a great thing to do with them, also), drinking enough water. Water is so important. Keeping up with not only their health visits, but yours, as well. You having a quality of life is important, also. Don’t forget that.

In closing, caregiving is one of the hardest jobs to do. However, you can conquer the difficult parts by taking care of yourself. By performing self-care activities, you are giving them your best you, and you are feeling stronger, healthier, happier doing it. They will see this and feed off of you. By adding them into some of your self-care, you are giving them a chance to feel better and better able to appreciate you. It’s a WIN-WIN! You CAN conquer caregiving and enjoy doing it.

For more tips on caregiving (caregiving someone with dementia included), check out our “Products” Page and get my e-book, “My Mind is No Longer My Own: A Caregiver’s Guide to Coping with Dementia.” This is a wonderful toolbox of helpful hints for individuals with dementia, as well as without. The final chapter was added in this 2nd Edition and it is Self-Care for the Caregiver. Check it out and add your own notes to it.

www.wellfitways.com

Self-Care gifts for the Holidays…

Do you have any of those people that have everything and you don’t know what to get them for the Holidays? Or, anyone who always takes back your gift because they “Just don’t like it?” Also, those that you may not know well, like a caregiver, who you want to get something for, but you aren’t sure what they like.

Your problems are solved. Give the gift of self-care. If they are an active person, get them something for their workouts. Either a new piece of equipment or weight, gym clothes, tennis shoes/running shoes, hiking, etc., new golf club, a bike or a kayak…something sporty.  I bet they will not take any of that back to the store!

What about someone who loves makeup and looking good? I’ve got you covered on that one, too. What about organic skin products? There are so many on the market, get them something from a couple different “clean” lines, and they will love it.

What about someone who loves food? Okay, what about a gift certificate for a couple free meals from a “clean/organic” food service? They can even pick out what meals they want to get. Such a great gift, especially if they work late and making dinners is difficult.

Someone who loves scents? I’ve got you covered on that one, also. There are so many aromatherapy lines out there, it’s not funny, BUT, it is wonderful. You can get scented candles that are healthy because they use essential oils, or you can get beeswax or soy candles with essential oils.

Still think you don’t have enough ideas? Well, there are courses for people on any topic imaginable for self-care. Take 50+ WellFit, for example! (HaHa…that’s me!!) I have programs for someone who maybe hasn’t been feeling like they are where they want to be…I have a course on “I Am Enough,” and Self-Care for Women 50+. I also now have EFT/Tapping coaching, working 1:1 with women 50+ and focusing on Emotional Freedom Technique/Tapping to release old beliefs/blocks to move forward in their life. Maybe they have been depressed, anxious, wanting to lose weight, money blocks, relationship issues, etc. Tapping will calm down the nervous system so you can get past the old beliefs and feelings and make better decisions and move forward in life.

What about someone who loves plants? Got ya there, too! Do you know that there are healing plants that are wonderful to surround yourself with? Well, there are! Plants can be healing, like an aloe plant; healthy CO2 balanced air, energy and positivity. Let me give you some of the plants that would be a nice gift, especially as a hostess gift…. ALOE VERA, as I already stated. It can be used for burns, skin irritation, infections, and internally for helping with digestion. ENGLISH MARIGOLD, can help with body pain if applied topically, plus it’s a beautiful, bright orange color that is pleasing to the eye. Dried, it can help decrease pain and swelling of insect bites. SPIDER PLANT, SNAKE PLANT, FIDDLE LEAF FIG, PONYTAIL PALM AND BOSTON FERN, are great air-purifying house plants. Plus, placed on your desk and around your home office offers an improved emotional state, calming a negative mood, increases focus and creativity. KAVA, also helps to purify the air in your home, plus the relaxing kava plant, is noted for its anti-anxiety effects. These ideas are great for even elderly loved ones. Everyone loves plants, and they make people feel better; even those loved ones with dementia.

So, now you can finish up your Holiday shopping for everyone, even those that seem to have everything and those that are never happy with what you got them! Try these Self-Care ideas for this Holiday Season.

Practicing Gratitude this Holiday Season

It sounds cliche and everyone is talking about it, however, how many people are doing it? Let me ask it this way, “How many people are doing it the best way to actually benefit from it?”

First of all, let me say, “Happy Holidays” to everyone, everywhere, whatever holiday you may celebrate. Holidays can be very difficult, and they can also be enjoyable and gratifying. Everyone has someone they wish could be with them during the holidays, which makes it more difficult, but, we always manage to get through it. Then, there are others who have someone that they may honestly wish was not there spending time with them. Let’s be honest, here.

The main thing we always hear, though, is to be grateful. I think that is what most of us think about during the Holidays, right? I hope so, anyway. Even in the bleakest of times, I was always able to find something to be grateful for.

That is why I am here today, writing this blog post, to remind you of all you have to be grateful and thankful for. There are so many sad and scary, horrible things going on in this world, we just need to look around and be thankful for what and who we have in our lives, even if they are a little rough and tough right now. All we hear about are the bad things going on in the world, but what about all the wonderful things going on? There are so many natural catastrophe’s lately, and that is horrible; however, look at how people are coming together to help out. People, overall are good! But, everyone always focuses on the bad, which brings more bad into the world. I always ask, “Why can’t everyone just be nice???” And, just be grateful for what and who we have…

So, how can we practice gratitude but really benefit from it? You’ve heard about writing down 3-10 things you are grateful for every day in your Gratitude Journal. I’ve done that and it is very nice; however, it didn’t do much for me, other than for a brief moment or two, right?

I’ve done a lot of research and listen to a lot of people who discuss the best ways to practice gratitude. One, my cousin sent to me that I absolutely love. It is a podcast by The Huberman Lab. They talk about the practice of gratitude and how to really do it to receive health benefits from it. Also, Dr. Kim D’Eramo (an ER trauma physician who is the founder of the American Institute of MindBody Medicine), who now practices and teaches MindBody techniques. The idea is to think of something that makes you grateful, it may even be some video that you saw that just made you feel really good, happy and grateful. You want to get that good feeling of gratefulness and hang on to it for over a period of time, say a minute to 3 minutes. Really feel that gratitude. Or, think of a time when you just felt so very grateful. Picture that image and think about it, really feel it. Hold on to that feeling and feel that gratitude that you felt at the original moment. This actually changes old beliefs in your brain. It is so beneficial. Try it and do it daily. You can still keep a Gratitude Journal. It’s not going to hurt, it can only help and bring those things your grateful for to the forefront of your thoughts.

The more you practice gratitude, the more you appreciate things. You are calmer, more appreciative and more mindful. So, if you haven’t practiced Gratitude, start this Holiday Season with an Attitude of Gratitude to make your Holidays much brighter.

I am so grateful for all of you, and wishing you and your family’s a Happy Holiday Season.